Parents give daughter $1.2M property despite her long history of poor financial decisions, causing their second daughter to distance herself from the family: ‘It feels like favoritism’

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    Old parents standing in front of a house smiling
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    AITA for distancing myself from my parents after they gave my sister a $1.2 million property?

    I recently found out that my parents are giving my sister and her husband a $1.2 million property and paying for full renovations so that my niece can attend one of the best school districts in our state.
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    My sister and her husband have a long history of poor financial decisions. They frequently rely on my parents for help, while my husband and I have worked extremely hard to build stable careers and provide for our family on our own.
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    We intentionally bought a fixer up home in an area we could afford, even though the local schools aren't great, and we plan to send our kids to private school - something we budget carefully for.
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    It feels like favoritism. I'm the one who shows up, helps when asked, and has never needed financial rescue - yet I feel like I'm being punished for being responsible.
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    If my sister were truly struggling despite doing her best, I'd understand. But her issue is that she and her husband aren't willing to live within their means or make sacrifices.
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    I can't help feeling deeply disheartened and resentful. I've decided to step back for a while to process everything and reevaluate my relationship with my parents.
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    I told them I'm hurt and that I need space, but they believe that since I did not flunk out of college, like my sister did and I made a successful career for myself that I shouldn't need help helping fund my kids education.
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    So, AITA for wanting to distance myself from my parents and take time to reassess my relationship with them after this?
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    Smiling young woman holding a set of house keys
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    NTA EldritchDreamEdCamp Though, if your sister and her husband cannot afford a normal home, I wonder how long they will manage to keep the million dollar one, which is bound to have far higher property taxes. That house is bound to have them (and likely your parents) hei money ing
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    OP cowboy040517 The property will be in a trust that has funds for maintenance and property tax.
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    LeoPines_12 OP is family too, why are the parents only treating the sister like family? Or their grandkids?
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    OP cowboy040517 I do believe my parents love me and my child. But they know that I will make sacrifices and do what needs to be done for my family unlike my sister. I believe that's a driving factor.
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    _Sovaz99_ They wont be rich long, trust. It takes at least basic common sense to handle large sums of money/ property well, which this sister does not have. Smart money says parents will likely expect OP to manage the trust for the sister. My response to that would be: LAWL
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    OP cowboy040517 You're 100% right. I was asked to help manage the trust as well as their estate. I declined.
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    SuccessfulAd4606 You said "giving them" rather than "buying them" - is this a property they own? Maybe they plan to revise their will to make it more equitable?
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    OP cowboy040517 Yes. This is a property that they own that's worth 1.2 million at this time and they are planning to put in 250k + in renovations and then funding a lifetime trust to keep up with maintaining the home. They have zero plans to revise their current estate. All will still be split 50/50.
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    NYCStoryteller NTA. I'd be like "so because I'm not a loser like my sister, it's worth burning our relationship by giving her millions of dollars worth of assets? Cool. Hope your retirement savings are well- funded and you never need elder care." Stop showing up when they need you. That's your sister's job now.
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    Numerous-Bet3575 A lot of parents seem to bend over backwards to prop up the family to the extent that they make the kids that do everything "right" feel resentful and taken for granted. It sks. I understand why you feel that way.
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    LeoPines_12 NTA, the nerve to favor your sister while ignoring your struggles and basically making her rich while expecting you to take care of them. I hope they have enough money saved for their retirement cause if I were you, I would tell them they are on their own from now on.
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    DaniCaps Fan This is clear favoritism. So the next time your parents need help, they can ask the sister to whom they gifted a $1.2M property. If they ask for help, it's not in your budget. You don't have the time because you have other obligations. They keep helping your sister. She can return the favor now. Come to that, if they can afford to buy a $1.2M property and pay for renovations, why have they asked you for help? So, yes, step back a bit. Work through your feelings. If you can afford a
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    1 pinksquirrel1 scotch NTA. This is a tale as old as time. Wish your parents luck with all their future needs, and remind them your sister is on her own when they're gone, so all they've done is postpone her inevitable collapse. Then wish your sister luck on keeping up with the insurance and property taxes.
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    ContributionHuge4980 i haven't talked to my dad in 30 years and my issue with him is small change compared to this. If these were my parents they wouldn't see their grandkids ever again.

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